What Is a Real Man?
Being a real man is not so simple as it sounds. Especially today. Men are becoming more and more feminized. Many men have lost their masculinity and don’t behave like they were meant to.
I won’t tell you that you need to be confident or have strong body language to be an alpha male.
Instead, I am going to list 12 essential qualities of a real man – 12 characteristics that separate winners and real men from emasculated losers.
If your personality traits don’t match exactly to these twelve traits, then you have two choices:
- Ignore this article and leave this website. I want D&C readers to be people who aspire to be the best. You can’t be the best if you can’t handle the truth or accept your flaws and work to improve them.
- Improve yourself until your personality consists of these 12 masculine qualities of real men.
Of course, your self-development shouldn’t end at the end of this list. This list is only the starting point.
When you “own” these 12 characteristics of a real man, you won’t only be more attractive to the opposite gender, but you will also be more successful in life. And maybe even more wealthy.
If I would come across this list some years ago, I would probably say yes only to 3-5 of these characteristics of masculinity.This means that they are not inherent. They can be developed.
Now I can proudly say yes to all of them, but I am definitely not perfect. I make mistakes and cross the lines sometimes. Just like you do.
The point is to decrease the mistakes, never do the same mistakes again and work hard every day on your quest to become a better man.
You might never become 100% perfect, but what matters is to rise from beta to alpha.
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1.Real, Masculine Men Are Decision Makers
Do you wait for others to make decisions about your life?
Or are you a natural leader who makes fast but well-thought decisions?
To give you an example:
Here is what a real man shouldn’t do when his girlfriend asks him if they will go out this night:
“Oh I don’t know honey, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know baby. What do you want?”
“Hmm I am not sure, do you have anything in mind?”
What the fuck is this?
A real, masculine man should take charge immediately and come up with a decision – either positive or negative.
“Let’s go out – buy some frozen yoghurt and walk near the beach”
“I don’t feel like doing anything tonight. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
See the difference?
In the first case, the alpha male makes a specific positive decision.
It doesn’t matter if the girl likes the idea or not. What matters is to make a fucking decision – that’s why your girlfriend is asking you. She doesn’t want you to tell her: “I don’t know”.
What is a real man? A real man is someone who knows what he wants.
2. A Real Man Must Be Self-Reliant
It’s really a shame to see grown up men asking for money from their parents. I could probably understand this if you were still in college. Even in that case I believe that you should be able to be self-reliant.
But fuck college. What about after college?
A real man should never accept taking money from his parents – or live in their house – after college on a consistent basis.
Everyone can lose track of his life and face some financial obstacles.
The shame is to stop trying to overcome these obstacles and accepting the comfort of having your parents backing you up.
Or even worse, your wife backing you up.
A man should be able to take care of himself. If he has a family he must be able to take care of his kids and wife without his wife needing to work – except she wants to do so.
But if she works out of need because her man can’t provide their family with all the essentials, then the man is doing something wrong.
Again, the point of being married is to have a partner who will help you in difficult times.
It’s not a shame if a woman works to support her family. But it’s a shame if this happens over a prolonged period of time. It’s a shame if a man lives in the comfort of his family expenses being covered by his wife over the long haul.
As a man, you must be self-reliant.
It’s not wrong to have someone give you a helping hand if you really need it – but it’s wrong to keep asking for others to give you their hands without putting any effort to lift yourself up on your own.
3. A Real, Masculine Man Must Be Unswaylable
Real men have a vision for their lives. They stand behind that vision and never let anyone destroy it by filling their minds with doubt and insecurity.
When others don’t believe in your mission – simply smile and ignore. A real man holds on faithfully on his mission-goals-life purpose with unquestionable belief and relentless vigor.
4.A Real Man Must Be Intrinsically Motivated
Watching motivational videos on YouTube won’t make you more successful. Real men don’t need external motivation to help them pursue their goals.
They don’t need others to lift them up emotionally because real men are intrinsically motivated to succeed and kick ass. It comes from within.
When motivation is coming from within, then your goals are already semi-accomplished.
5. A Real Man Must Be Non-Conformist
What is a conformist?
It’s a person who uncritically or habitually conforms to the customs, rules, or styles of a group.
In other words, conformists are sheep that follow the crowd. Conformists don’t have their own ideas and aren’t original thinkers.
Instead, they just mimic what others do and copy other people’s ideas.
Since everyone does it – it doesn’t mean that it’s the right way.
If what everyone does was the right way, then everyone would be happy, rich and living the life of their dreams. But this is not happening.
Real men are non-conformists and think out of the box. They don’t need to follow the social etiquette to feel approved.
Real men make their own road and don’t follow the herd.
6.A Real, Masculine Man Must Be At Peak Physical Wellness
The importance of this cannot be stressed enough. A real man must be physically strong. He must have a body that can move and lift rocks.
He must have the physical strength to support himself and protect his loved ones if needed.
Emasculated men don’t care about their physical wellness and always are out of shape. When you are always out of shape, you are not a real man.
From the ancient times, male figures were displayed as strong, fit and powerful. Neither incredibly thin and weak, nor overweight.
It’s not a shame to be super skinny or overweight. The shame is to ignore the importance of physical wellness and continue eating Big Macs for lunch every day.
Being a real man is hugely dependent on taking care of your body and staying at peak physical wellness.
7. Real Men Are Thirsty For Knowledge
Mens sana in corpore sano
This means that a healthy mind leads in a healthy body and vice versa. Ancient Greeks were big believers that they should take care of their bodies and minds.
Think about Spartans. They were some of the mightiest warriors who ever lived.
Spartans were real men. Yet, it’s not enough to take care of your body – if you don’t take care of your mind.
A real man must be at the constant pursuit of knowledge – seeking to expand his thinking horizons and learn new things every single day.
When a man is both physically and mentally fit, he has all the power he needs to conquer the world.
7. Real Men Listen Before They Speak
Most people always talk about themselves, their accomplishments, the new home they bought, meaningless gossip and other stuff.
Real men don’t speak if they don’t have something valuable to say.
Instead of speaking and constantly revealing his thoughts and intentions, a real man thinks carefully before he talks and prefers to let others do the talking.
8. A Real Man Lifts Other People Up
The best way to differentiate a man of value and a scumbag is by judging the way he treats other people in his life.
Real men help others succeed and live to help those who are eager to learn and help themselves – they lift people up instead of dragging them down.
Most people focus on bringing down their competition. A real man has no competition.
9. Real Men Aren’t Control Freaks
Jealously is one of the worst things in a relationship between a man and a woman. If one of them is incredibly jealous, then the relationship is going to face serious problems.
If the man is the one who is overly jealous, then he must stop being a control freak.
A real man doesn’t make a woman his sun. Instead, he is the sun and lets his woman orbit around him – if that’s what she wants.
If she doesn’t want to be there, then there is no reason to be jealous and try to control her. He simply lets her go.
10.A Real Man Never Tries To Impress Those Who Are Not Worth It
You know them, you have seen them. People bragging about their new houses, cars or their awesome lives. Most of the times, it’s not them speaking. It’s the need for attention. It’s the need to feel important.
A real man doesn’t need to show off his wealth or material possessions to impress others.
Instead, he makes a lasting positive impression by:
1.Helping and genuinely caring about others
2.His character and personality
11. A Real Man Knows What “Responsibility” Means
Losers tend to blame others for their mistakes and failures. They refuse to accept responsibility for what’s going wrong in their lives.
For some people, the problem is thought to be their bad luck, the papa government or the universe.
Unfortunately, when shit happens in your life – the fault is probably yours.
A real man knows that and accepts full responsibility of what’s happening in his life. And he does his best to change whatever he doesn’t like.
Then he works hard until he shapes his life exactly as he wants it to be.
12. A Real Man Doesn’t Seek For Approval
Masculine men make decisions based on what they want. Not what others want or expect from them.
A real man doesn’t seek for approval for his actions, he just acts – without being immoral – and never apologizes for what he wants.
He puts his desires first and never sacrifices his desires, goals and dreams to make other people happy. He knows that those who really care for him will understand his choices.
The rest of them don’t matter, because they didn’t really care at the first place.
What Is A Real Man
Let me know what is a real man – based on your opinion – in the comments below. I would love to listen to your additions (or subtractions).