How To Stay Motivated Even When Things Fall Apart, Ignite The Fire & Get Through The Hardship |Unleashing You Part 1|
People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity no matter how impressive their other talents.” – Andrew Carnegie
Thanks for your overwhelming response in the last e-mail I have sent. I got so many replies that I couldn’t answer.
But I did my best to answer as fast as possible to all of you who e-mailed me back!
One of you, asked me a great question though.
How do you maintain the motivation to achieve something, before you actually achieve it?
That’s a great question.[bullet_block style=”size-16″ small_icon=”14.png” width=”” alignment=”center”]
- How can you maintain your desire to achieve a goal when that goal is nothing but a dream?
- How can you keep going when things don’t go as expected?
- How can you not quit when everything and everyone seems to work against you?
I will answer this in a while (Hint: there are three things you need to maintain your motivation and succeed in something no matter what).
Some months ago I decided to quit college. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I wasn’t born into riches. I wasn’t even comfortable.
My parents started broke as a joke. After a lot of hassle, they managed to rise a little higher in the income ladder. Their affordability has been good for a period 5-8 years.
Then the financial crisis came. Everything turned upside down. My father lost his job and my mother’s salary was reduced by 50%.
At this point, my father was unemployed. My mother was making a measly 800$ per month. You know that a family can’t live with 800$, let alone when you have to pay for college expenses.
Some of my relatives stepped in and took a lot of weight off my parents shoulders.
I was in college and trying to get around with 250$ per month while the financial situation for my family was becoming worse day by day.
I knew I couldn’t live another 4-6 years like that. I didn’t have money to cover even the most basic expenses.
I was living slightly better than a homeless man!
The only difference was that I had a roof over my head and some money in my pocket (sometimes). But I wasn’t even grateful for that….
How could I be grateful? (even if I should be!)
1. Many Days, I Didn’t Even Have Money To Eat
There were many days that I didn’t eat nothing but a bowl of (the worst quality – cheapest) cereals for breakfast.
Other days, I could only eat a dish of rice or pasta that cost about 0.30$ to make. That’s what I could afford.
Not to mention that it tasted horrible. I just boiled water, put the rice in there and left the water boil for 10-15 minutes. I ate that shit. Plain, untasty, cheap rice.
2. No Money To See A Doctor When Needed
I had terrible acne but couldn’t afford to pay for a 15$ cream, let alone see a doctor. Well I could buy the cream, but then I wouldn’t have money to pay for the electricity.
My self-esteem was almost touching the bottom every time I looked myself in the mirror. Yet, I couldn’t do anything about it. No money, no honey.
3. I Sacrificed Things I Wanted
I had to give up something I loved (martial arts) because I couldn’t afford paying my teacher (just 50$ per month). And that’s not the only thing I gave up.
4. I Had to Choose Between Eating & Paying The Bills
Sometimes I had to buy less stuff (or nothing at all) in the supermarket so I could pay my bills.
Each time I went to the supermarket, I had to count the pennies to see if I had enough money left.
These were just some of the things I had to deal with.
I knew, that I couldn’t continue living like that. I had to change my life somehow.
My life wasn’t going the direction that it should. I felt like there could be MORE than that! Have you ever felt this way? If yes, you know what I am talking about.
However everybody told me that I just had to endure, be patient and wait until I get my degree (does this sound familiar too?).
And I listened, because I didn’t know any other way.
The last hit came in the summer of 2014. I needed money and started working as a waiter for 2.5$ per hour – 10 hours per day. Every day without rest. 5pm to 3am. The most awful work schedule.
I gave up that shit after a month. All I did was work, sleep, wake up and work. I hated it and couldn’t continue doing it.
Almost 8 months after that – at February 2015 – I started my website, Dare and Conquer and committed to my way.
D&C was a way to share my journey, experiences and everything I learned in the process. It also helped me to stay committed to all that self-improvement stuff that was new for me.
All my hopes were left on a couple of books, a PC and a WordPress site. Certainly not the most encouraging thing…
After That Point There Was NO Return, No Plan B, No Alternative
I soon realized that I couldn’t keep up with both college and everything else I did. So I took the (risky) decision to never go again.
I just quit and didn’t even tell my parents. I knew that if I did, the whole family that was having my back these years would start nagging and doubting me.
And I had no time for doubters and naysayers.
I decided to keep it a secret and do everything I could to achieve my goals as fast as possible before they discovered it.
I didn’t have another choice than making this work. If it didn’t work, then I would be done…
That was almost ALL I needed. That motive gave me the kick in the ass to succeed.
I had burned all my bridges. I would either win, or die trying. Fuck it – I couldn’t live in poverty anymore.
So, the first thing that can give you an ongoing motivation to succeed is to cut all your alternatives. To not have a back up plan.
A back up plan distracts you from your main goal. You don’t try hard enough to succeed because you know you don’t have to.
There is a life jacket awaiting you if you fall into the water.
You don’t need to fight and swim for your life in the heavy sea. The life jacket is there if your boat sinks like the Titanic.
That’s what most people do. And that’s why they never succeed.
They try to pursue something, but they are so afraid to fail or take a risk that they need a back up plan to feel safe.
That’s not a way to live your life. You will never achieve anything if you do this.
If you want to achieve your goals, you only have to want something A LOT and be willing to take some risks.
Anyway, are you a man or a faggot? If you are a man show up and stop acting like an afraid little girl. Face your fears or they will kill your dreams…
When I decided to never go to college again, I knew that if I didn’t make my plans work, then I would have lost everything.
But that was the best motivation I could ever have. Period.
A few months after, I have built a profitable fiverr business. I also built some other profitable ventures (secret for now).
And I was finally able to do all the things I couldn’t do in the past.
Like spending 400$ per month on my nutrition. Like travelling to foreign countries.
I have already pre-paid for three 4-6 day vacations during the next few months and can’t wait forward to go!
One year ago, I couldn’t even dream of that. Even when I started D&C, my goal was to make about 300-500$ per month so I could continue college without getting money from my parents.
But that was an incredibly small goal (even if it seemed huge when I had nothing).
However, I thought: “I can’t risk so much and get only such a small return. I have to go for more”.
And that was the second key factor that helped me stay motivated.
You Always Have To Go For More
Small goals don’t motivate you to succeed. Big, unrealistic goals do.
Big goals make you wake up in the morning ready to kick ass.
Big goals make you able to grab life, punch her hard in the face, throw her down and make her your bitch!
Dreaming and having big goals costs nothing. So why don’t you do it?
Some people will doubt you. If I got 1$ for each time someone told me that I should be more realistic and settle for less, then I could probably spend that money and buy a new Porsche.
Let them talk. If they have never achieved anything worthwhile in their lives, they will probably doubt you.
Smile, nod and move on.
There is a quote saying: “Never settle for less than you can be, do or create”.
That’s what you should do to be motivated all the time. Real motivation comes from the inside. Not from watching motivational videos on YouTube.
I have written that quote on my whiteboard right next to my desk. I see it every day so I will always remember it.
Always go for more.
Lastly, I told you that there are 3 ways to stay motivated to achieve your goals. I have talked about the two thus far.
So lets get into the 3rd way which is probably the most important.
Do You Do What You Say You Will Do?
Think about how many times you have heard someone saying:[bullet_block style=”size-16″ small_icon=”20.png” width=”” alignment=”center”]
- I will stop smoking on Monday.
- I will stop drinking / using drugs. That’s the LAST time…
- I will start working out and eating healthy…from tomorrow.
- I will start spending more time on productive activities, but I will do it tomorrow.
- I will start waking up earlier.
- Blah, blah, blah.
How many times did you say that you will start doing something (or stop a certain habit) and never actually did what you said?
Think about it. Probably many times. At least, that was the case for me.
But that’s the problem for many things that go wrong with your life!
The problem is that when you say you will do something and never do it – your brain becomes used to this type of behavior.
This is called neuroplasticity. And as you continue doing it, your brain starts giving you stimuli to act that way on everything you say.
Then you procrastinate on almost anything.
You have probably never thought that saying you will brush your teeth at night – and not doing what you said – has a huge impact on your life, right?
Well, one event doesn’t have a huge impact. But when it happens once, it may happen more times. Then you have a serious problem.
That’s the main reason behind procrastination.
On the contrary, if you say you will do something – and you really do it – then your brain develops the exact opposite tendency.
The more times you do what you say you will do, you start developing a habit of acting upon your words.
And this can radically impact all areas of your life.
Because when you do what you say you will do, you develop faith in yourself. You become more self-assured and confident. You start believing in your abilities.
Because you know that you are a disciplined man who keeps his word.
Either way, if you can’t keep the promises you make to yourself – then why do you expect others to take you seriously?
So, that’s they 3rd component that gives you ongoing motivation. Acting upon your words and keeping even the smallest promises you make to yourself.
Try to do that every day and you will see a BIG change. Don’t say something if you are not going to do it. If you say something, you must do it. Otherwise, you are conditioning yourself for failure!
Now, I know that this sounds great on paper – but it’s far more difficult to apply it in your life right?
Well, actually it’s not so difficult to learn how to act upon your words. Even if you aren’t trained to do so.
I wasn’t trained in the past, yet I figured out how I can keep all the promises I make to myself.
But that’s a completely different – and really broad – subject. I will write about it in the next article.
I have told you my story. And I have told you which are the 3 best ways to stay continuously motivated to achieve your goals. I also told you (briefly) how to be more disciplined, self-assured and consistent.
Now it’s your turn. Let me know what you would like to hear next!
Also, I know that all that must have raised a lot of questions – especially around the subject of neuroplasticity and training your brain to act more disciplined.
So feel free to ask any questions you may have. I would be more than happy to answer in the comments below!
PS: I have tried to share with you as much as I could in this post and I really hoped this information helped or inspired you a little.
If that’s the case – could you please share this on social media? I see many people struggling with staying motivated. If it was valuable for you, it might also be for them.
You can do it super fast with the sharing buttons on the left side of the page or at the top of this post!