Why You Should Get Rid Of Emotional Attachment Before It’s Too Late…
Did you know that people who held a mug for 30 seconds before making an offer for it in an auction paid 83 cents more than those who held the mug for 10 seconds?
That’s what a study by the Journal of Judgement and Decision Making found.
The conclusion was that every physical contact with a material object has the power to form an emotional attachment with that object.
Richard Passman, a psychologist, has formed the idea of essentialism many years ago.
This is the belief that objects are something more than a non-living material.
This can happen in multiple ways.
For instance, if you anchor a happy memory (like a date or a beautiful trip) with a material object.
If you let this emotional attachment conquer you, then you are probably going to have some big problems…
How to Discover If You Are Emotionally Attached To Inanimate Objects
If you want to achieve your goals in life and have a chance for a better future – you should never be emotionally attached to non-living materials.
An easy way to understand whether you control your materialistic possessions, or if they control you – is asking yourself:
Do you have the guts to sell all your stuff, keep only what’s extremely necessary, fit them in a suitcase, and then leave your home forever?
This means you have to leave your house, car, video games, clothes, furniture, gadgets behind you. Or to sell them.
You can only take a the most necessary clothes with you along with the most important gadgets like a laptop, camera etc.
Are you strong enough to do this?
If the answer is “no”, then you are too emotionally attached to materialistic possessions…
If you are able to do this then you are one of the few persons who isn’t emotionally attached to inanimate objects.
You can enjoy the magic of simplicity.
However, most couldn’t do that.
They wouldn’t be able to get rid of all their stuff in an instance and go live somewhere else.
And this is really terrible.
This emotional attachment is what stops many people from succeeding. It’s like being chained.
And it could be even worse!
- There was a man who developed a sexual relationship with his car.
- A woman in love with the Eiffel Tower.
- And an editor who thought his microwave deserved a proper burial.
This is NOT a joke. Check this out: A History Of Humans Loving Inanimate Objects
How A Man Was Doomed To Living In Poverty Due To This Emotional Attachment
I know a man who lived a decent life for many years.
He has gone from being broke into running a profitable business. He wasn’t a millionaire, but he could live a good life without many financial worries.
He enjoyed many benefits of financial freedom like vacations with family, nice cars and a 12 meter yacht.
However, after many years of continuous mistakes, he was broke again. He had no job, no money and no status.
He was 48 at this point of his life.
He wanted to start a new business. His new plan was to transform an old traditional house to a neoclassical restaurant.
The house was situated in a strategic position and offered a great view to the sea. His ideas of transforming the place were really smart.
But he lacked the money to pay for renovation, taxes, equipment and employees. He needed about 50.000E to start running the new business.
Fortunately, he had some property that he could sell. Then, he could invest the money in the restaurant.
After selling two small properties he didn’t need, he had 25.000E sitting in his bank account.
These would be enough to start with, even below budget.
Unfortunately, he had to pay about 15.000 in taxes.
Moreover, he needed 1000E per month to cover his monthly expenses. (He was unemployed.)
In the end, he was left with only 4000 euros. These were used for making some small changes in the house’s garden.
After 1 whole year he hadn’t opened the restaurant. And he was still without a job.
UPDATE 24.01.16: Three years after, he is still broke as a joke. And that’s because of emotional attachment to material objects.
But he still had options:
- Take a loan and get into debt. This was a pretty risky move though.
- Sell his 200cm2 house, buy a smaller one and invest the rest of the money to the restaurant.
He did well by avoiding the loan and getting out of debt!
Unfortunately, he also refused to sell his house.
He couldn’t do it because he was TOO emotionally attached to his house.
He lived there for many years and couldn’t leave it. He didn’t want to sell it to a stranger. He couldn’t live without it.
He still doesn’t have a job. He can barely afford the basics.
His own house has started to collapse because he doesn’t have money to keep it in a good condition.
He lives hoping that he will win the lottery, he is betting on football games and believes that the world will become a better place on its own.
That someone will give him a better life. That he will become lucky.
But this won’t happen if he doesn’t work hard to earn it.
He will be doomed to live his rest of his life hoping…
Why You Get Emotionally Attached To Non-Living Objects
If you want to stop being emotionally attached to non living objects you should first understand the reasons behind each emotional attachment.
That’s because only when you find the cause of the problem you can eventually heal it.
1. Emotional Attachment Due to Loss Of Status & Prestige
A common cause of emotional attachment is the prestige and status these non living objects provide you.
Why do men want to drive expensive cars?
Because they make them feel powerful, successful, dominant, alpha.
Driving a BMW gives you a completely different feeling than driving a Toyota, right?
Certain objects satisfy some of your emotional needs, like the desire of feeling important.
The threat of loss of these non living objects causes anxiety because you are in danger of losing your status and prestige.
2. Emotional Attachment Due to Happy Memories
Have you ever kept an old object because it reminded you something beautiful?
Most people keep old objects only because they remind them something beautiful.
This is a problem if you can’t ditch them completely when it’s needed.
Here is something else:
The desire to remember old memories through non living objects might mean that the present isn’t as great as the past.
So, if you try to fix your present – you might find it easier to break this emotional attachment with materialistic objects.
3. Emotional Attachment Due to Traumas
I have a friend who was in hospital for several days.
He is 23 but couldn’t leave the hospital without his pillow.
He slept on this pillow for 3 weeks because he had a serious accident and needed extensive medical care.
Even if he is a grown up man – he couldn’t leave without it.
That’s because the pillow was connected to a traumatic experience.
How to Break The Emotional Bonds & Be Free Once And For All
As you can see, we get connected with non living things because they fulfill some of our emotional needs.
Like the need of feeling special or the need to belong.
The best way to get rid of emotional attachment to things is to find a different way to satisfy these needs.
To do that you have to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy emotional attachments.
For example, being attached to your friends because they make you feel that you belong somewhere is a healthy attachment.
On the other side being attached to eating sweets and snacks because it’s a way to enhance your mood is something unhealthy.
An emotional attachment is healthy when it offers an immediate solution to your needs.
On the other hand, it is unhealthy when it throws dust in your eyes to feel better now without fixing the root cause of the problem.
Get rid of unhealthy emotional attachments and replace them with healthy ones.
For example, if you are emotionally connected to your car – it could be because it makes you feel successful in the eyes of women.
To break free of this emotional bond with your car, you should could find a different way to satisfy your desire for sexual companionship.
One good way would be to start working out, lifting some weights and transforming your body.
It’s not easy to stop being emotionally attached to non-living objects – especially if they have a big sentimental value for you.
You don’t have an alternative though – IF you truly want to be successful.
So break free of the damned emotional bonds.
Do you want to live your life to the utmost or do you want to live a life being controlled by a non-living object?
It’s your choice.