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How To Make Someone Like You: A Lesson By Billionaire Andrew Carnegie

how to make someone like you

What Andrew Carnegie’s Bunnies Can Teach you About Human Relationships


The science of making people like you isn’t as complicated as some people make you believe. You don’t need to be an FBI trained agent to get people to like you.

You can make someone like you if you understand some basic rules of human relationships. And who can teach you better about human relationships than Andrew Carnegie?

If you want to know how to make someone like you, then the following technique used by Andrew Carnegie will probably do miracles for you.

“But who is Andrew Carnegie?” You might be wondering.

For those of you who don’t know, Andrew Carnegie was one of the most successful entrepreneurs of all time.

Mr. Carnegie went from being completely poor to being one of the richest men of all times. In 1901, he sold his steel company to JP Morgan and earned 480 million dollars.

That money today would be adjusted to 380 BILLION dollars.

Carnegie didn’t became one of the richest men in the world due to luck. One of the reasons of his massive success was his ability to make people like him.

How did he do it?

Let me share with you one not so well-known story about Mr.Carnegie.

Carnegie & His Bunnies

When Andrew was a boy, he started raising rabbits. However, he found that he didn’t have enough time to take care of all his rabbits on his own.

how to make someone like you andrew carnegie rabbits

And he decided to ask his friends to help him with the task.

But he didn’t just ask them to do a boring chore for him. Nobody would like to take the responsibility of taking care someone else’s animal.

If someone you know comes and asks you to take care of his cat, would you accept? Maybe if you liked cats. In most cases, people would refuse.

Let alone in the particular case where Carnegie needed someone to take care of his rabbits. Rabbits aren’t like cats and dogs. Dogs can play with you. You can take them out for a walk and enjoy the companion of girls who stop and flirt with you.

On the other hand, you can’t take a rabbit for a walk.

However, all Carnegie’s friends accepted to take care of his bunnies. One bunny for each one of them.

How did he do it? How did he persuade them to take care of his bunnies?

Simple.

He took advantage of one of the key characteristics of human nature: Selfishness.

Whether you like it or not, people are selfish.

While there are many people who have devoted their lives in helping others without any return, the majority is selfish.

True altruists are a minority.The rest of humans are pretty much egotistical.

We like it when people make us feel important. We like it when people give us attention in a good way.

What did Carnegie do?

He promised his friends  that he would name each bunny under the name of its caretaker.

That simple move, made his friends and acquaintances eager to help him with a chore they wouldn’t normally accept.

Do you know what’s the most pleasant sound in the ears of every human being?

His name. 

Tell me, how do you feel when you meet someone and he doesn’t even remember your name after 1 minute? It’s frustrating.

On the other hand, if someone remembers your name the next time you meet each other, you are more likely to like him.

This is a big truth especially when you meet someone with difficult name that is very difficult to learn. Most people won’t put in the effort to learn how to pronounce the name properly.

But if you do, you have more chances to make the other person like you.

Actually, several studies have shown that our brain is hugely activated when we hear someone using our name. Did you know that listening to your name causes the same brain response like foods and sex?

Now, back to Andrew Carnegie. This genius boy realized that if he named his bunnies in the honour of his friends, they would gladly accept to help him!

How To Make Someone Like You By Applying The “Bunnies Lesson”

Ok, very interesting story. How do you practically use that lesson in your life?

You can use this in two areas: in your personal relationships and business relationships.

When it comes to running your own business, you should understand that every person you meet is either a potential client or business associate. He might not be one right now. but he could probably be in the future.

Meeting him again and not being able to call him by his name limits your chances to do business with that person.

On the other hand, when it comes to personal relationships, you are reducing your chances to make people like you, help you with something or have sex with you.

In both cases, the problem is that you make the other person feel insignificant. And that’s why it’s important to remember the names of other people to make them like you more.

Here are five things I do to improve my rates of remembering names. I am sure they will work for you too:

1.Never tell yourself or others : “I am so terrible at remembering names”

Each time you do it, you are reinforcing this belief until it becomes a reality. Your beliefs are really powerful and can really shape your life. Even seemingly unimportant statements like this one can change the way you think and act completely.

Never say that.

2. Whenever you meet a new person, make a conscious effort to remember his name.

There are many distractions around and they can really affect your ability of remembering someone’s name. You can blame your poor memory, distractions, thoughts that occupy your mind or whatever you want.

But these are just excuses.

The problem is that you are not trying to remember names on a conscious level.

Just like lifting weights or doing bodyweight exercises like pull-ups, remembering names is a skill that takes practice. The more you try to remember names on a conscious level, the more it will happen unconsciously.

3. Relate the person’s name with something familiar.

For me, this is the easiest way to remember someone’s name. Each time I meet someone and hear his name, I try to relate this person to a) the place I am, b) a common friend or c) a celebrity.

For instance:

If I am at a dance class and meet a girl named Catherine, I say to myself: “This is Catherine from Tuesday’s hip-hop class”. 

It sounds kind of silly but I repeat that in my mind 2-3 times until it sticks in my memory. On the other hand, if I meet a guy through a common friend, I say to myself that: “this is John who I have met through Jim”.

Also, if someone I meet looks like a celebrity, or has a certain characteristic that reminds me of a particular celebrity, I try to relate that person with someone I already know.

4.Use the person’s name as soon as you can and as many times as you can.

This is very simple and easy to do.

Let’s say you meet someone named Jack. Simply saying “Hey, nice to meet you Jack” is an easy way to increase the odds of remembering his name.

Also, you should try using his name after a while that it’s still fresh in your memory to start conversation. “So Jack, how long do you work there?” or “Jack, where do you come from?”.

5. Spell the name

In case someone has a really strange name, then you will probably forget it or spell it wrong. Asking the other person to spell his name is an easy way to remember it and create a visual image of that name.

Note: Don’t ask for spelling if the other person is called Joe or Mary…

What If You Meet Lots Of People At The Same Time?

That’s a bit tougher, but still doable. For instance, I met 2 girls and 2 guys the other day. As soon as our common friend introduced us I started repeating their names in my mind:

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Peter, Sam, Jenny, Ann

Do it 5-10 times. They will stick in your memory longer than if you don’t even try to remember them.

Then start conversation and ask questions using their names to reinforce your memory. Also, as you talk to each other – try to associate them with someone you already know or with the place you are.

Conclusion

That was an easy and pretty underused way on how to make someone like you.

Try it in your life and you will probably see how your relationships with other people get substantially better. A little change like that can do a big difference.

Consciously try to remember the names of those you meet. Calling others by their names make them feel important and it’s not something extremely difficult.

With a bit of practice you will be great at remembering the name of everyone you meet!

Try it and let me know how it goes. Come back here and share your experience in the comments below!

Talk Soon

-Damian Pros

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